Weary

All I have to say tonight is that I'm tired of my back hurting.

I recognize that in the world of chronic pain--and compared to some things my friends are going through--this is very small potatoes indeed. Seen from a certain perspective, I'm being a whiny baby.

But I can't sit at a computer for any length of time, and a good portion of what I need to do at work involves sitting at a computer. If I'm not sitting at my computer, I'm standing in my cube, waiting for the day to go by.

It makes the day very long. That makes me cranky.

I'm tired of being cranky.

All I can do is wait this out, and it really is getting better. It's just that what I have to do to get it better frustrates me. I don't generally think of myself as an active person, or one who relies completely on her mobility, but then I bump up against something like this that keeps me from getting things done and it makes me realize how active I really am.

Rabbi Gellman, who writes a column for Newsweek says that we're all temporarily abled; basically, one way or another, we'll lose our abilities over time. When I go through something like this with my back, I think about that...and it makes me more determined than ever to hold onto my mobility for as long as I can.

In the meantime, I will try to cultivate patience and to whine just a little less.